This isn’t the life I drew pictures of in elementary school. On career day, I didn’t dress up as this.
At 18, I didn’t see this path opening ever more widely before me.
And it’s easy… real easy… to look back with such regret. To look over my life and point my finger and hold my hand out waiting and expecting for someone to make amends… to make it better.
I’ve known loss. I’ve known hurt and broken hearts. I’ve known betrayal and bitterness.
But I’ve also known the laughter of a sweet babies who God knew I needed to anchor my wanderer’s soul. I’ve known the joy of growing up with my kids… I’m still growing with them.
I’ve known the joys of friendships that have lasted through years and tears. I’ve known what it feels like to be fully known and accepted in the good and the bad.
And every time I go into a new season I look back and see every hurt, every slight, every tear as exactly what God intended it to be. Preparation.
Without all the junk, I wouldn’t have all this joy. Without those tough times, I wouldn’t be strong enough to hold this overflow of happiness.
This life… every mistake, every hurt, every moment, every laugh, every tear… this life was meant for me. Hand crafted to change me into my own unique version of the image of God. It’s exactly what He knew I needed and on every dark path, He knew exactly where we were going and why.
I don’t know what tomorrow holds. And I’ve learned that false claims of happiness, love and fortune only set my fragile heart up for disappointment. But what I do know is that He is already there. And everything I’m experiencing today is exactly what I need to walk through tomorrow.
I’m learning, although slowly, to be thankful in the struggles. Because the struggles are where the growing happens.
This life was meant for me. And I am eternally grateful for every. Single. Moment.